I stopped playing music over a decade ago. Honestly, I stopped playing gigs another decade earier than that. The reasons for it were multitudinous, but came down to a few overarching concerns, some having to do with transitioning my gender (voice dysphoria) but others going to the simple fact that playing out was getting to be nothing but a grind, something I had little passion for… essentially, it was burnout. I went through a number of years when I didn’t even listen to music, preferring to just enjoy the ambient noise of life.
I’ve definitely returned to music appreciation now. I used to do all of my retail therapy at the record store. I’ve redeveloped that habit. A couple of years ago, I decided I wanted to have a working turntable again. I now have that, and I’ve just about tripled my vinyl collection since doing so. I’m considering a moratorium on buying new stuff, just so I can spend some time with the things I’ve picked up and decide on some favorites. I mean. I do have favorite things, and I’ve written about a few of them on this blog, but there are things I’ve filed away, having listened through them once or twice, that I want to make time to pull out again and listen on repeat, because that’s how you get things into your bloodstream and make them part of your internal soundtrack.
So I’ve been thinking about whether I should get back to playing music. I have no real interest in reconstructing my solo act. I was so tired of the lack of interaction with other players, of endlessly repeating the same songs in rehearsal and at gigs. One of the things I prefer about writing is that you compose, you perfect, then you move on. That’s not what playing music is like.
But it would be fun to have a group of humans to get together with on a regular basis and treat music as the social interaction it’s meant to be. I’m sure I would enjoy it, as long as it was somewhat low-key, done for fun, and kept away from the crazymaking that is also so much a part of being in a band. One thing I’d need to do to get back to playing is to update my equipment. Some of that is only worth doing once you know what sort of music you’ll be playing (some kind of rock music for me, but even that carries lots of variables) but I do find myself looking at various basses and guitars – mostly basses – that it would be nice to have and play.
My top three basses to get would be a Stingray, a Thunderbird, or (and?) a Mustang.
My top guitars to get would be a Les Paul, a Martin 00, and a Mustang.
All except the Martin would be red with a black pickguard, ideally.
But the fact is, I don’t have any reason to buy any guitar. I have guitars. I have worked hard to retrain my creative impulses towards writing, for reasons listed above as well as a few others I’m not going to bother listing here.
There’s nobody around who is interested in making music with me. I’m not really pursuing it. It’s OK. I’ll enjoy music as a consumer/spectator, and keep putting my energy into writing, which suits my life and my interests better.
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