Rama Lama Whippity Ding #1

I met with an agent

AI slop

Recently, I had a speed date-style Zoom meeting with a generalist/genre book agent. It was an interesting and informative experience. I’d even say that on the whole it was a good experience. But it was also awkward and distant, and a little bit depressing. I’m clearly not the author this agent wants to represent, that’s the first thing to say. And I’m OK with that. As with any speed dating sort of situation, you’re looking for something to click.

When it became clear that this wasn’t going to be a thing, I asked a couple of biz questons and they were open and honest with their answers. Helpful. Cheerfully so.

more AI slop

I asked about how it is out there for trans authors these days. I was told that trans adult fantasy authors can pretty much do what they want, it doesn’t seem to matter. But kidlit is getting hit pretty hard, lots of bannings, lots of pushback.

I guess we’ve found the actual canaries in the coalmine. If you’re a trans-inclusive YA or middle grade author, you’re having a rough go right now. I don’t think that points to a winner in the contest, but it does make it clear that it IS a contest. There’s a war being fought out there. And if the trans kid’s authors lose, I’m next.

further AI slop

What the agent kept repeating when asking me to talk about my project is “What are the stakes? What’s the thing I can’t walk away from?” This caused me some cognitive dissonance because the whole idea of my novel is the protagonist walking away, over and over. And it’s not that my main character is an anti-hero. Sometimes Rose walks away from things by choice, sometimes she walks away because she’s forced to. Sometimes she’s kidnapped. Sometimes a disaster happens, either on a large or a small scale. Sometimes it’s her fault. Sometimes she’s a victim. Sometimes it’s a sacrifice she makes. And that’s a story too. It’s a story I feel personally, because it’s how my life has been.

My perception of the general run of fantasy novels these days — and I’d have to say that most everything I’ve read in the genre for the last ten or so years fits into this formula — is that you start with an action sequence, it sets up a conflict and some tension, the bulk of the book is the main character on the run and under the gun based on the conflict/tension, but also there’s some guy or girl who is very very annoying until they’re not, then there’s an aha moment when the protagonist figures out what’s really going on and consequently how to win, and then there’s a huge high-stakes battle, like a multiple orgasm of crash! bang! pow! as big as whatever the author can imagine, then a few pages of happy every after.

Such AI, much slop

Whose life is like that? Having read a hundred iterations of that, who needs it again? I think this is a problem, and it’s not something I want to “create” the next iteration of, although I will say the story I’m working on actually does follow that formula to some extent, though it doesn’t have that ratchet-up, ratchet-up, and ratchet-up-again thing going on.

At some point during the interview, I began to imagine the novel I would write to meet the standards of this era of fantasy fiction. The title would be “Rama Lama Whippity Ding #1” and the first sentence would be “How do you like your steaks?” I bet I could get a few thousand words out of riffing on that.

Clearly, I wasn’t made for these times.

last bit of AI slop… for now.

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A Post You Can Scroll On By If You’re Scrolling Down My Blog’s Timeline

This is me figuring some things out.

This is one of those meta posts. Yes, I’m taking up space here to do some “out-loud” thinking about what I want to do here. Sorry! Bear with me (if you’re out there at all) and I promise next week will be better.

That’s where I want to start I guess. I’m trying to be more consistent about this thing. I mean to start posting dependably every Tuesday. This will be my fourth Tuesday in a row, so it seems like this may actually happen. It’s also true that early in this blog’s history, I did a couple of “seasons” – three-month periods where I consistently posted every Tuesday. Unsurprisingly, I had more views then and even had a couple of posts that drew a small amount of attention.

I was never very deliberate about what I posted in those days. My intent was simply to keep writing. I had just come out of an MFA program with a “Creative Nonfiction” degree and was trying to work towards… something. I know not what, at this point, but someting. In the years since, I have managed to keep writing, but not always here on this blog. You can look at my “About Diane” page and see a few things that have appeared in other publications.

But most of what I’ve done is not published, except for what’s on this checkered and not-very-directed blog, and a metric tonne of social media posting. I have a novel in the works, a novella, and I’ve just decided to self-publish a chapbook of mixed essays and fiction sometime this coming year. It has become time to devote a bit more energy to this thing and see what I can actually accomplish.

That’s the backstory. So what’s next? I think an important next step for me is to build some sort of constituency. I haven’t tried very hard to do that, but I do know it to be possible. It’s time to make some stuff happen. The question is: how?

I think this blog needs to stand on its own. I need to post consistently. I’m doing that much and will continue to. This is my first line of “offense”, if you will, and my sincere hope is to post things that will be of interest. Scrolling back through my previous posts of late, I see that I have developed a pattern: I review albums and try to contextualize my thoughts around whatever music I’m posting about with thoughts from my life and from the world as I see it. I also do much the same thing without the music; see my “Zeitgeist” posts.

What that indicates to me is that I orient towards cultural commentary. You may be surprised to find that I am still looking for indications. I chalk that up to a lack of conscious planning about what I mean to say when I come here to put down some thoughts. You could say that this is more of an observation than a deliberate choice, but I’m fine with the diagnosis.

Essentially, this is what they used to call a “perblog” or Personal Blog. For me, this will almost always be pointed outward at the world, but it will definitely come from a point of view somewhere between these two slightly-ringing ears and a little bit behind these two hazel eyes. A broadcast from my personal brain radio, if you will.

I hope you will tune in from time to time. I’ll try to make it interesting. Please like, subscribe, and if you’re feeling generous, leave a comment!