An Annotated List of Some Sources of My American Malaise

These are symptoms of a corrupt society.

  • Democratic Neoliberals –
    • Jimmy Carter – Ineffectual leader, Famously criticized Americans for their lack of will while failing to address the hostage crisis in Iran, the double-whammy of unemployment and concurrent inflation, or much else, really.
    • Bill Clinton – tried to combat the Reagan wave in politics by becoming more Reagan-like.
    • Hillary Clinton – Not politically talented, managed to continue the Democratic tradition of snatching defeat from the jaws of vicotry.
    • Obama – Big talker on the campaign trail, didn’t do much of what he promised, continued the party’s practice of pointing at the Republicans while lying in a self-drawn chalk outline of themselves.
    • Zombie Joe – propped up by a party apparatus more motivated to hold on to power than to help people, as they had been since Bill Clinton. Failed to manage even that.
  • Fascists
    • Reagan – Laid the groundwork for every evil thing the Republican Party has done since. Didn’t introduce Milton Friedmann’s to the American economy (that would be Jimmy Carter) but he advanced the neoliberal cause into the inescapable plague it is to this day.
    • Bush – Bush 41 was the intellectual giant of the last 4 Republican presidents, but that didn’t help. Lasted 1 term. Remember Operation Desert Storm? Whoopee! Also, his opposition to “Voodoo Economics” disappeared the moment he got the job helping Reagan administer those very policies.
      • Bush 43 eroded the power of the constitution even farther, committed horrible atrocities across the globe, is nothing in comparison to the next Republican president in terms of destructive, greed-fueled idiocy.
    • Trump – Here is the air you’re breathing now. At this point the constitution is a meaningless piece of paper, human life is only as valuable as its bank account, and because of his actions on the international stage, everyone in the world rightfully hates us.
  • Imperialist Wars of Aggression
    • Genocide – An American tradition going back as far as 1619. Today our tax dollars are continuing that tradition in Gaza, the West Bank, and southern Lebanon.
    • Iraq War – An illegal, unprovoked war of agression that has led, by some counts, to the deaths of over 600,000 innocent Iraqis and destabilized the entire region.
    • Afghani War – An intentional failure and boondoggle that went on for 20 years too long. It’s trillions of dollars that were just thrown away, and that was the actual purpose of the adventure.
    • Iran War – continuing the American tradition of unprovoked and illegal wars of aggression against countries that didn’t attack us. We’re losing this one decisively.
    • Rat Bastardry™ in countries to our south – How different is Nicolás Meduro from Manuel Noriega, in the final analysis? Mainly the difference is in the even worse behavior of the American state. It must be remembered that the US has worked its evil on the countries south of us since we’ve had the ability and interest to do so. The Mexican-American War of 1848 is of a piece with the kidnapping of Meduro and the theft of Venezuela’s oil and gold.
    • Vietnam War – An obvious precedent for much that has happened since. No one remembers Henry Cabot Lodge, Jr., but they should.
      • Gulf of Tonkin – the trumped up fake attack that set the precedent for many lies that followed.
  • Internal scandals
    • Watergate – A context in which an American President claimed, “If the President does it, then it’s legal.”
    • Corruption – This country has been set up to benefit the merchant class from the time said rich imperialist first set foot on these shores in the 17th century. At this point, all other impulses – Democracy, individual liberty, equality (hah) – have been subsumed into the weathiest among us’s greed.
    • Racism – Endemic and written into the script. Apart from simple prejudice, there’s endless history of legislation (Virginia’s Black Laws dating back to 1680 as an example,) suppression, and all manner inhumane treatment. The thing to remember about racism is that it’s a tool of the rich and powerful. It’s divide and conquer.
    • Sexism – Let’s just say “virulent patriarchy” and move on here.
    • Homophobia – A tool of patriarchal hegemony with the added pizzazz of being a fear of the self in many cases, and in virtually all of the most virulent cases.
      • Transphobia should probably get its own own bullet here, although in my perception, it’s got most if not all of the features of homophobia, with the addition of trans folk being seen as an even more direct affront to the sensibilities of the patriarchy.
    • White Supremacy – If we look at this as distinct from racism – which it isn’t, really – we have to point to the strange matter of how many white people think they’re being oppressed if they’re treated the same as everybody else. It’s truly weird, and that misreading of the map of the world in the social dimension is a huge source of the malaise we all endure.
  • The disappointing left
    • Bernie – Bernie gets huge credit from me for the things he’s accomplished. He’s the best spokesman for the anti-neoliberal movenent that’s burgeoning in this world that the US has, but he has also failed us all at a couple of crucial moments. He’s twice gotten to a crucial moment in his campaigns for president and just thrown in the towel without winning enough concessions from his opponents to make a difference.
    • The Squad – Four women in Congress, generally fighting the good fight, but they sometimes self-sabotage and therefore sabotage a country struggling to find some moral and ethical footing in this post-neoliberal era. The best of them is Ilhan Omar, in my opinion, although AOC is more charismatic. We shouldn’t expect them to change the world, but sometimes I wish they would fight harder, and sometimes it’s frustrating that they fold when they shouldn’t.
    • Current Liberal Leadership – When the supposed opposition acts like quislings and collaborators, and simultaneously shout down anyone who acts as true opposition. They pretend to be on our side while abjectly serving their Epstein-class masters.

Rama Lama Whippity Ding #1

I met with an agent

AI slop

Recently, I had a speed date-style Zoom meeting with a generalist/genre book agent. It was an interesting and informative experience. I’d even say that on the whole it was a good experience. But it was also awkward and distant, and a little bit depressing. I’m clearly not the author this agent wants to represent, that’s the first thing to say. And I’m OK with that. As with any speed dating sort of situation, you’re looking for something to click.

When it became clear that this wasn’t going to be a thing, I asked a couple of biz questons and they were open and honest with their answers. Helpful. Cheerfully so.

more AI slop

I asked about how it is out there for trans authors these days. I was told that trans adult fantasy authors can pretty much do what they want, it doesn’t seem to matter. But kidlit is getting hit pretty hard, lots of bannings, lots of pushback.

I guess we’ve found the actual canaries in the coalmine. If you’re a trans-inclusive YA or middle grade author, you’re having a rough go right now. I don’t think that points to a winner in the contest, but it does make it clear that it IS a contest. There’s a war being fought out there. And if the trans kid’s authors lose, I’m next.

further AI slop

What the agent kept repeating when asking me to talk about my project is “What are the stakes? What’s the thing I can’t walk away from?” This caused me some cognitive dissonance because the whole idea of my novel is the protagonist walking away, over and over. And it’s not that my main character is an anti-hero. Sometimes Rose walks away from things by choice, sometimes she walks away because she’s forced to. Sometimes she’s kidnapped. Sometimes a disaster happens, either on a large or a small scale. Sometimes it’s her fault. Sometimes she’s a victim. Sometimes it’s a sacrifice she makes. And that’s a story too. It’s a story I feel personally, because it’s how my life has been.

My perception of the general run of fantasy novels these days — and I’d have to say that most everything I’ve read in the genre for the last ten or so years fits into this formula — is that you start with an action sequence, it sets up a conflict and some tension, the bulk of the book is the main character on the run and under the gun based on the conflict/tension, but also there’s some guy or girl who is very very annoying until they’re not, then there’s an aha moment when the protagonist figures out what’s really going on and consequently how to win, and then there’s a huge high-stakes battle, like a multiple orgasm of crash! bang! pow! as big as whatever the author can imagine, then a few pages of happy every after.

Such AI, much slop

Whose life is like that? Having read a hundred iterations of that, who needs it again? I think this is a problem, and it’s not something I want to “create” the next iteration of, although I will say the story I’m working on actually does follow that formula to some extent, though it doesn’t have that ratchet-up, ratchet-up, and ratchet-up-again thing going on.

At some point during the interview, I began to imagine the novel I would write to meet the standards of this era of fantasy fiction. The title would be “Rama Lama Whippity Ding #1” and the first sentence would be “How do you like your steaks?” I bet I could get a few thousand words out of riffing on that.

Clearly, I wasn’t made for these times.

last bit of AI slop… for now.

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Things One Can Do With Language

Order dinner
Find a bathroom
Listen

Make a phone call
Write a blog
Talk to the press

Interview a subject
Deny
Affirm

Tell the truth
Tell a lie
Create a web of lies

Come out of the closet
Be your true self
Hide from yourself

Fall in love
Marry
Divorce

Tell your grandkids
What it was like
In the good old days

Break the law
Write the law
Change the law

Be a slave
Own a slave
Outlaw slavery

Run for President
Start a war
Stop a war

Invent God
Follow God
Refute God

Chant
Sing
Write

Dear Editors: I Am Not My Transition!

I’ve heard back from more than one editor, and a couple of agents as well, that a story about my childhood that I’ve been sending around is “just a chapter” because it includes a scene of me directly trying to deal with my gender issues: they all seem to want to make the whole 6,000 word story I’ve submitted about that one page-long scene. I don’t have the opportunity to explain that the story I’ve sent them doesn’t really have anything to do with “transition” per sé, because cover letters need to be brief and professional. If I did take the space to try to explain this, it would feel like I’m apologizing for my work if I were to drill down into aspects of my story in a preface that only the editor will ever see. A story needs to stand on its own.

So I’m writing this post.

I’ve been told to just leave that part of the story out, but that seems just as unreasonable. Physically, it would be possible to do that, and while that would certainly bypass the issue of my “problematic” identity, to leave that important part of myself out of my story would feel like I’m retreating into the closet that I’ve fought so hard not to be trapped in. From my point of view, the choice I’m being presented with is either to leave out this important aspect of who I am or focus my story on the expected trope of transition.

Imagine requiring a story about a black kid to include some kind of resolution to the “problem” of their blackness, or else leave that out of the story entirely. Such an expectation from an editor would immediately brand them as racist. And yet, any time I have heard an actual critique of the piece I’m discussing, this is what I hear back.

I’m trans every day. Getting my hormone prescription was only one day, one story. There have been so many stories in my life: I was trans in all of them. My being trans is just a trait, not my whole identity. I am not my transition. That’s not the only story I have to tell. Surprisingly, the vast majority of what’s happened in the time I’ve been walking the Earth has nothing to do with a particular course of medical treatment.

I refuse to accept that any memoir I write needs to either deny who I am or be about the gatekeepers who OK’ed my medical transition. I am grateful to them, but at least one of these people has had me sign an NDA. They don’t want the publicity, and I’m OK with that.

This particular memoir piece is a story about a kid who is being bullied. The fact that the main character is trans is important, but not central, and the resolution to the story is not going to come from waiting the thirty seven years it took me to get my medical transition started: the situation is much more immediate than that, so the resolution must be, too. That resolution must be about being bullied and how the central character, who happens to be trans, deals with it.

By the logic of these literary gatekeepers, no story can be self-contained, because there is always some central issue in a person’s life that won’t resolve into a nice little package with a ribbon and a bow on it. Requiring a self-contained solution to such a global problem as gender incongruence is unreasonable. Conversely, you can live with such an unresolved issue for a very long time, while many other things happen. I can tell you that this is so from personal experience.

Unfortunately, it’s been a major obstacle to getting my work published. It’s quite frustrating.