Rama Lama Whippity Ding #1

I met with an agent

AI slop

Recently, I had a speed date-style Zoom meeting with a generalist/genre book agent. It was an interesting and informative experience. I’d even say that on the whole it was a good experience. But it was also awkward and distant, and a little bit depressing. I’m clearly not the author this agent wants to represent, that’s the first thing to say. And I’m OK with that. As with any speed dating sort of situation, you’re looking for something to click.

When it became clear that this wasn’t going to be a thing, I asked a couple of biz questons and they were open and honest with their answers. Helpful. Cheerfully so.

more AI slop

I asked about how it is out there for trans authors these days. I was told that trans adult fantasy authors can pretty much do what they want, it doesn’t seem to matter. But kidlit is getting hit pretty hard, lots of bannings, lots of pushback.

I guess we’ve found the actual canaries in the coalmine. If you’re a trans-inclusive YA or middle grade author, you’re having a rough go right now. I don’t think that points to a winner in the contest, but it does make it clear that it IS a contest. There’s a war being fought out there. And if the trans kid’s authors lose, I’m next.

further AI slop

What the agent kept repeating when asking me to talk about my project is “What are the stakes? What’s the thing I can’t walk away from?” This caused me some cognitive dissonance because the whole idea of my novel is the protagonist walking away, over and over. And it’s not that my main character is an anti-hero. Sometimes Rose walks away from things by choice, sometimes she walks away because she’s forced to. Sometimes she’s kidnapped. Sometimes a disaster happens, either on a large or a small scale. Sometimes it’s her fault. Sometimes she’s a victim. Sometimes it’s a sacrifice she makes. And that’s a story too. It’s a story I feel personally, because it’s how my life has been.

My perception of the general run of fantasy novels these days — and I’d have to say that most everything I’ve read in the genre for the last ten or so years fits into this formula — is that you start with an action sequence, it sets up a conflict and some tension, the bulk of the book is the main character on the run and under the gun based on the conflict/tension, but also there’s some guy or girl who is very very annoying until they’re not, then there’s an aha moment when the protagonist figures out what’s really going on and consequently how to win, and then there’s a huge high-stakes battle, like a multiple orgasm of crash! bang! pow! as big as whatever the author can imagine, then a few pages of happy every after.

Such AI, much slop

Whose life is like that? Having read a hundred iterations of that, who needs it again? I think this is a problem, and it’s not something I want to “create” the next iteration of, although I will say the story I’m working on actually does follow that formula to some extent, though it doesn’t have that ratchet-up, ratchet-up, and ratchet-up-again thing going on.

At some point during the interview, I began to imagine the novel I would write to meet the standards of this era of fantasy fiction. The title would be “Rama Lama Whippity Ding #1” and the first sentence would be “How do you like your steaks?” I bet I could get a few thousand words out of riffing on that.

Clearly, I wasn’t made for these times.

last bit of AI slop… for now.

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Novel Progress Report 1/15/25

Just, you know, how it’s going..

So, here it is, January ’25. The world is about to enter a long, dark corridor. Really, we’re pretty much in that corridor already, but we’re about to turn a corner and whatever dim light there was behind us is going to be cut off.

We’re entering an age where human life will be much less valuable. The people are on the ropes. What are we going to do? What can we do? Time will tell. I hope what’s coming is at least a good story.

Into this dark January I continue to work on my novel-in-progress provisionally entitled A Curse of Romans. I’m giving it about 3 hours a week right now, but it is a consistent 3 hours a week, and has been since 2022. I’m a little over 3/4ths of the way through a 4th draft. I keep thinking I should devote more time to it, but whether I do or not, I intend to get it to a final draft, probably 3 or 4 passes away.

This current draft is about getting my facts straight. I’m consistentizing my worldbuilding (which was improvised in the first draft), I’m trying to make the characters a little bit more interior-logical, line-editing some because some things I did on the fly were obviously bad and it’s embarrassing, plus I’m rewriting two big sections, one of which I did earlier and one of which is upcoming – i. e., the ending. The current ending must be scrapped and replaced.

Next draft will be a scene-by-scene out-loud retelling in the narrator’s voice. Draft five is shaping up to be crucial. That will be the one where not only will I be reading each scene aloud, I’ll be applying the Stanislavsky stuff that my MFA seminar was about. If I don’t get intentions right, the whole thing will fall apart. Also wondering if I should acquire a kilij, which my narrator character uses.

So yeah, it’s difficult, I’m going slow, but the work is going well. I like what it’s about, I like my characters, and I think this is a good story. Of course, anyone who ever eventually reads the thing will decide.

Current listening: The Mob Rules by Black Sabbath.